An Adoption Together

Many of you know this already, but in case you don't....Brad and I are seeking to be parents by adopting a child. We've both known we wanted to be parents at some point in our relationship, so in January of this year we started the long process....and we couldn't be more excited.

This is my first attempt to let everyone know where we are in the journey for creating a family. It's been a 5 month process in preparing for acceptance by our agency as a couple ready to adopt. First, loads and loads of paperwork needed to be filled out. Next, we needed to complete several processes, including: criminal background checks, home fire inspection, health inspection, driving records, etc.

Once our paperwork was completed, we were assigned a social worker in order to conduct a home study. After 3 meetings, our social worker completed our home study and submitted it to our adoption agency, Adoptions Together Inc. www.adoptionstogether.org in Silver Spring.

Finally, we have completed our "dear birth mother letter" and our photo album, and we now have our final meeting with the agency director next Friday to them "jump into the waiting pool." It's been quite a process....and very invasive as your life becomes an open book. However, it's a small price to pay for our end result....a child. Speaking of.....

We will be adopting a baby from the greater tri-state area. He/she (we cannot choose) will most likely be a newborn, but could be as old as 6 months. Can you believe it? Going into this in January, this isn't where we thought this path would lead. We assumed we would be adopting a toddler from an international country. We quickly learned that international adoptions are almost non-existant now for same-sex or single parents. With that option virtually closed, all our efforts are focused on this domestic adoption.

Once we are thrown into the pool, our wait could be anywhere from 3 months to 2 years......and anywhere in between. We are banking on at least a year's wait.....so we do have some prep time. During this time, we'll be doing our own marketing........looking for potential birth mothers who would select us to raise their child. Our first objective is to have a website up and running very soon. We are in the process of constructing it with the help of a good friend of Brad's. We'll gladly share it with everyone when it's up and running so you all can help in "the search."

Well, there you have it. This is the single most biggest thing we have ever done in our lives and we are just at the tip of the iceberg, but again, we couldn't be more excited to add a child into our family. We promise to keep everyone posted as often as we can when we have anything to share. We'll appreciate any prayers and well wishes for sure!

Sincerely,

The Brads

The Last Nail: A Coming Out Story

Many of you that know me well, and maybe others that don't, know that I'm a pretty out-and-out gay man. Yah, for the most part......except for my parents. I'm 37 years old and my parents don't know that I'm gay.....until now.

Yes, friends, mom and dad Benton finally know. It all happened over President's Day weekend on a mountain retreat vacation in Northern Idaho. To put it plainly, I basically did a "drive-by outing."

I called my parents about 2 days before we left to say that I was swooping into town and would love to see them before I headed up to the mountain for the weekend. I gave myself an hour to talk to my folks. So, my friend, Emily, dropped me off at my parent's house while she went grocery shopping for the weekend needs. We would "regroup" in an hour. Tic-tic-tic-tic.....

For me, I felt the whole thing went about as good as it could have....given the situation. The news was not welcomed with open arms mind you, but an adult conversation was had and expectations were set. I calmly and proudly stated who I am and then laid the future out for my parents. I expect to be loved and treated like I always have been in the family. I do understand that there may be a lack of understanding on their part, but I'm okay with that. However, I will be accepted in whole and not just tolerated, and this goes for Brad as well. They now know the future of our relationship is now in their hands and hard decisions will need to be made.

It will take some time, I know, but I do have hope. I hope that my parents will not make me choose between my real family and the family that I have chosen.....Brad and Zippy and the rest of my friends. I feel the next several months, and possibly years, will be a learning process for my parents for now.....they have a glimpse of the other side of the fence because their son is gay. They have been instructed and believe this is an abomination and abnormal.....and morally wrong. But, now they are seeing this in the eyes of their youngest child whom they love. The gay issue has now landed smack dab on their front porch. So, there's my side of the fence and their side of the fence. I pray that questions can be asked and tough conversations had in order for us to be on the same side of the fence one day.

So, with that, I guess you could say the last nail in the closet was pounded into place on February 13, 2009. There's no way for me to get back in, nor would I want to. *BANG! BANG! BANG!*

It's done.

It's a crude, crude world......

I drove by one of the many gas stations on my way to work today and noticed that gas jumped $.10 from the night before when I came home. Okay, I'm still thrilled that gas is under $2 a gallon, but I'm so nervous about it taking off again close to the record highs. It also doesn't leave a good taste in my mouth when I see the following article online:

Exxon Mobil sets record with $45.2B profit

And that's with only 3% of the world's oil production. I mean, can you imagine the magnitude of the "gas money" around the world? I don't really have too much more to say about it, but I just wanted to bring some attention to it. It's so important that we continue to relieve our dependence on oil in this country and find alternative energy resources. For more info, view President Obama's plan.